I no longer have confidence and faith in what I know. I am tired of guessing and wish to move on but do not know how. I can’t love someone of a younger age without having the fear that other think that i will exploit her in future.
I wish I could assure everyone but the manipulation the scepticism and the cynicism is taking a toll on me. I can’t assure her the way I wish I could without putting on a mask to show that I am ok. I am grateful for everything and at the same time, also for nothing. I hate threats and I foresee I will continue to live with it.
I want to thank her for putting up with my un-smiley face and hope she can find her soulmate.
I think I was happier when i was hopeful and now that everything is revolving around my guessing, I do not know how to love and I wish the family and her all the best.